Personal Top 10 for 2010

This isn't a new idea. I stole it from Keith Rawson over at Crime Factory and he in turn stole it from someone else. Whatever its origins, I'm adding to the ever growing list of personal highlights from 2010. In no particular order:

10. Judging the Davitt Awards

This year I put my hand up to be a judge for the Davitt Awards. These awards are given by the Sisters in Crime for the best published crime, true crime and YA crime books by Australian female writers. Aside from the sheer pleasure of having books delivered to my door on a weekly basis, I loved having the opportunity to read writers I hadn't yet read. Fellow judge, Tanya and I were responsible for co-judging the YA books. Wow, such innovative material and challenging stories. I wished I'd had books like these to read when I was a teenager. To be honest, many of the writers of the adult books were less impressive.

9. Lindy Cameron's launch for Clan Destine Press

Writer, editor, mentor, Sisters in Crime convenor and friend, Lindy Cameron launched her publishing business, Clan Destine Press , this year. A huge step for her but a momentous one. All of us who went to the launch commented that we were sure we'd look back on that night and realise it was the start of something big.

8. My little man started school

Yep, the little dude started school this year. I wasn't at all sad about it. I was excited for him. Yet I confess as I left him there at his school on that first day, I was unprepared for the empty feeling in my chest. He's had a ball and met some great friends. Now I can't believe his first year is over and then he'll be in a Grade One next year. Time is flying past way too fast.

7. My little girl

She can be hard going at times but I adore my little girl. She's a dynamo - determined, funny, cheeky and active. Currently addicted to the Wiggles, she loves to sing and dance. She never walks - just throws herself headlong into everything. The highlight this year was her sleeping. She now sleeps through the night and has a daily nap of 2-3 hrs!! A big step forward after a 18 months of interrupted and poor sleep - for both her and us.

6. Clan Destine

In 2008, the Clan Destine writing group was formed. We are a group of writers, most published in some form but all united by a love of the written word, who meet on a monthly basis to discuss each other's work and provide information and encouragement. The feedback is fearless but constructive. I always leave the meetings feeling absolutely jazzed.

5. My first finished manuscript

Yes, mark down 2010 as a milestone. I've started a million novels but this year I actually finished one. Granted it's only 20,000 words but it's also only in third draft form so hopefully it'll get longer. I'm working with the lovely Vikki Petraitis to improve and develop the manuscript and the aim is to have it ready to submit mid 2011. Hold onto your hats, people.

4. Being a Sisters in Crime co-convener

I've now been a co-convener with Sisters in Crime for two years and I absolutely love it. Such a funny, enthusiastic and friendly group of women. I love them all. This year I did two panels - one with PD Martin and Katherine Howell , and the other with Leigh Redhead and Wendy James . How privileged am I to able to interview 4 fabulous writers who happen to be funny, smart and gorgeous? I love this gig. In 2011 we'll be holding the SheKilda Again crime writers festival. It'll be HUGE!

3. My girlfriends

I am blessed to have an amazing group of girlfriends. 2009 was a tough year for most of us but this year I watched as my friends all blossomed and grew. No matter what challenges they took on, they succeeded. I'm proud of them all.

2. My partner

He is a challenging mix of worry wart and a bull in a China shop. This year he made changes to his working life which meant he now has a work/life balance and a job that isn't stressing him out of his mind. I'm proud of the moves he's made and of the person that he is. Love ya, babe.

1. my favourite read of the year - Jasper Jones

I tried to up my non-crime book reading this year and, whadya know, my favourite read for the year is a literary book (albeit with a crime at its heart). 'Jasper Jones' by Craig Silvey was shortlisted for the Miles Franklin and I can see why. I was hooked from page one and plowed my way through the book. It's the sort of book where you want a sequel because you're dying to know how the characters turn out. It's a coming of age book in the tradition of books like 'Huckleberry Finn' but set in rural Australia. The narrator is a funny, thoughtful 13 year old pulled into a terrible secret by Jasper Jones the town outcast. Full of pathos, humour and insighful, it is a fabulous book.

That's my year in a nutshell.

Politics is a dirty word

I wanted to do a rant about the state of Australian politics after the Federal election but restrained myself. Now that the State election is over, the restraints are off and I'm fueling up on rant power. I will happily state upfront that I have never voted Liberal or National in my life. I've usually voted ALP with a mix of other voting preferences eg Democrats and Greens thrown in. But I have to say that staying loyal to the ALP just gets harder and harder. The turning point for me was the Tampa episode. Watching Kim Beazley toe the Government line made me see red. I hate the way both major parties push and shove to occupy the middle ground. I hate that only the conservative vote counts. I hate that only the opinions of middle class white blokes matter. And here was Kim Beazley toadying up to the middle class white bloke vote despite his convictions.

Watching this year's Federal election was horrifying. Poor old Kev was dispatched too soon because only the latest poll matters. Then Julia Gillard was shaped and moulded to resemble a piece of meringue. Her gestures, her voice, her speeches, they were all aimed at placating and mollifying the voters. Where was the fire? The passion? Sadly convictions and beliefs have disappeared from Australian politics. Nowadays pollies avoid extremes but spend all their fire trying to belittle and monster their opponents. And this occupation of the middle ground has resulted in two almost hung Parliaments.

So what do I want? I want politics to mean something and for pollies to stand for something. I want them to stand outside the bland middle ground and cause waves. Seeing Penny Wong finally speak out in favour of gay marriage warms the heart but we need more of it. This desire for more passion and for politics to stand for something has seen the Greens do well. Hopefully their vote will get larger and larger as people, desperate for meaning, move away from the major parties. Or maybe the ALP will remember some of their history and stop looking and acting like a Liberal Party wannabe. I'm not holding my breath.

Devil, thy name is Procrastination

*Stands up and clears throat* Hello, my name is Jacqui and I'm a Procrastinator. Right now I should be starting a new writing project. I have no excuse. My son is at school and my toddler is asleep. But no, I email, I Facebook and I surf. I want to write and yet I don't. Explain it to me.

Now that I'm a mother of two and a part-time employee, I have less time than I used to for writing. I look back on my lazy single life and curse my procrastinating ways. Back then I waited for the muse to strike, for inspiration to come. And when it didn't, I read or watched telly or went out. I had all the time in the world and what did I do? I wasted it!

I know that time is precious now. I grab all the tiny bits of time for writing that I can and clutch them to my chest like a possessive two year old. Mine, mine, I whisper. Most of the time I put my head down and write and I have to say that recently I've done more than I have in a long time. And yet...and yet...I fight that demon, Procrastination. And it's a daily battle. Anything seems better than writing and yet all I want to do it write. Steve Pressfield in his book "The War of Art" calls this procrastination 'resistence'. As writers (and creators of all shapes and sizes), it's our job to overcome this resistence. To break through it and do what we are driven to do. Pressfield has many tips for overcoming resistence and they are all based on his advice to stop behaving like an amateur and become a professional. Turn pro and treat your creative endeavour like a vocation. Be dedicated.

Right, I'm off to be a writing pro. If you see me on Facebook, tell me to get the hell off it and write.

Women who inspire

I've started a new collection. Whenever I read an article about a woman doing something amazing, I cut out that article. Whenever I meet a woman achieving success and forging an interesting path, I file her away in my head. I've had enough of a media that is dominated by vacuous celebrities. I'm tired of reading social websites that discuss the ins and outs of some lingerie model's life. There are better people to be writing about and better people to be admiring. I want my daughter to see that there is life beyond Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Lara Bingle.

There are so many amazing women in my life. Women who are making grass roots contributions to enviromentally sustainable living. My friend Katerina runs a green cleaning business and wants to save the world. My friend Robyn teaches primary school kids about nature and the environment. She's ensuring the next generation cares about our world. I'm surrounded by women writers and editors who inspire me on a daily basis. Inspire me much more than a botoxed actress ever will. Lindy who is starting her own publishing business. Alison who is already seeing the possibilities of e-books. I have female Facebook friends who campaign for palm free products. Who actually achieve results from their tireless work and ensure we never forget to check the ingredients list on the things we buy. The list goes on...

As for my file of clippings, let me share...Ever heard of Anneke Van Woudenberg? Unless you read the same Age article as me last month, chances are you haven't. Anneke is 39 year old Dutch-born Canadian who left her highly paid banking job in London to become a Human Rights Watch senior investigator. She listens to and collates the horrific stories of the people in the Democratic Republic of Congo. She takes the stories to the United Nations, to rich governments to make them listen and act.

My other clipping is about Ayaan Hirsi Ali who wrote "Infidel" - I haven't read the book yet but it's on my list. Ali is Somalian born but now lives in the Netherlands. She is a vocal critic of Islam and at heart a conversative. Her views are intriguing and they challenge me, just as they challenge the assumptions of both the Islamic world and the Western one. I'm more interested in learning about this woman than knowing the ins and outs of Jennifer Aniston's love life.

All this is percolating in my head. A book maybe. A website. Something that shows women of all ages that we need to take our heads out of The Who Weekly and stop allowing ourselves to be sidetracked and anaethetised by trivia. Our daughters and our sons need better role models than the ones that are trotted out on a regular basis. Jess Watson is a good start. So is Sam Lane. You don't have to look and behave like Barbie doll. Life is far more interesting than that!

What the blog?

Finally a moment to write - between a week of funerals, work and sick toddlers, it's been hard to put two thoughts together let alone two written words. Anyway, I wanted to write about a session I attended at the Williamstown Literary Festival. The festival was on last weekend and I managed to get to 3 sessions on the Sunday. One of them was about Literary Blogging. I'm actually thinking of starting a blog called "Diary of a Failed Blogger". I love the idea of a blog but in practice I have started and gotten bored with a number of blogs. In the face of seemingly deafening silence and no comments and few followers, I always find myself wondering "what's the point?" Especially when there appears to be no money to be made other than in selling tips for creating successful blogs.

With this in mind, I and a friend - fellow would-be blogger Ali Karayan - went off to listen to two noted local literary bloggers. The first was Lisa Dempster who blogs about all thing literary, veganism and dogs (www.lisadempster.com.au) and is the current Director of the Emerging Writers Festival, and Angela Meyers, the voice behind Literary Minded who is the literary blogger for crikey.com. Both are young enthusiastic twenty-somethings who blog an amazing number of times per week. Ali and I (both mothers in our early 40s) raised our eyebrows and noted wryly "no kids".

The session began with Lisa and Angela talking about their blogging histories but quickly became very interactive with people (of all ages, I note) eager to ask questions. They were asked about building up a blog and about staying keen when getting no feedback. Both admitted it takes a while and also noted that while it might seem no-one is interested in your blog, you'll find people are reading but just not commenting. Lisa mentioned that she first knew people were taking notice of her blog after she posted a criticism of the Melbourne Writers Festival. Within hours, she had responses from the officialdom of the festival as well as other readers. This discussion led onto another on the literary world in Australia, and particularly Melbourne, being small. Both bloggers had been warned at various times not to annoy well known authors and figures in publishing. They admit it's a fine line. I sat there thinking that the literary world in Australia needs to be more critical - I don't mean negative - about what's being published. It seems, like with our movies, reviewers can be so keen to promote Australian writing that crap can slide past unscathed. But I digress... The issue of not making waves and of drawing a line between her blogging self and her job seems to have hit home with Lisa now that she is Director of the Emerging Writers Festival. She says she has already had a sniffy response to a suggested festival panel led by her on online writing. It's been interpreted as Lisa feathering her own nest. Interesting dilemma.

I asked a question about moderating blogs. As a past volunteer moderator of a large parenting forum, I know how vicious some arguments and debates can become and how wierd the whole business of trolling can be. When a reader signs up to Lisa's website, she moderates their first comment and there after all comments go up unmoderated. She keeps an eye on all discussions and will enter the fray to calm things down if necessary. She says she has only had to block one person in three years. Angela however admitted she's had an episode of cyber-stalking which ended in her blocking the person and changing various emails and other identifying addresses. They admit to grappling with the issue of privacy. A difficult thing when you basically use the internet as your private journal. And as Catherine Deveny discovered this week it may seem like you're having a cosy chat with friends when you are chatting online but in reality your words are out there for all and sundry to see.

I'll finish up by throwing out a question or an idea...take it as you wish. The question that started percolating in my head during this session and which I unfortunately wasn't able to articulate in the following session I attended with Jeff Sparrow from Overland and Steven Grimwade, Director of the Melbourne Writers Festival is where all this literary blogging sits with the existing field of journals, magazines and festivals. For every two articulate and thoughtful bloggers like Lisa and Angela, there must be a dozen more hacks and dolts. Does this water down the impact of literary reviewing and writing or add to it? Is blogland where our new generation of reviewers and thinkers are going to be found?

In all the session was a fantastic one. Ali and I emerged fired up and readying to go. Watch out blogland here we come :)

A tale of two musicians

I'm currently reading two autobiographies from two different Australian musicians. The first book is "Shots" by Don Walker, best known for his days with Cold Chisel; and the other is "Will it be funny tomorrow, Billy?" by Stephen Cummings, ex-lead singer of The Sports. Each has a different take on telling the story of the life of a musician. Don Walker's book owes more to Jack Kerouac and the beat writers than anything else. He tells of his childhood and youth growing up in rural Australia. The words tumble over each other. They slip and slide, painting vivid scenes that let you smell the heat and dust. You can easily see where songs like 'Flame Trees' came from. I haven't finished the book but I know it stops around the time of the early 80s so I doubt there's much about Cold Chisel there. Not that it matters. The book is more experiment in writing rural Australia and growing up than a tale of a musician.

Stephen Cumming's book paints the portrait of a neurotic and paranoid young man intent on making music but unable to deal with the politics that comes with it. Despite his ambition, Cummings seems to be adept at self sabotage and manages to alienate and piss off most of the people he comes into contact with. Cummings' writing is darkly funny, gossipy and very very self depreciating. While acknowledging most of his failings and frailties, he doesn't hold off pointing the finger at various music luminaries. His portrayal of Michael Gudinski, in particular, pulls no punches. As I read the book, I do find myself wondering if people in the music industry are still talking to Cummings.

Both books take on the trials and tribulations of being a musician from different angles and both are well written and entertaining. And both stay away from the usual sex, drugs and rock and roll side of rock star biographies and are far richer reading experiences for it.

Damn you technology

It's all a bit of fun at the start...Facebook, Twitter, gmail chat and so on. The pleasant way of taking a break between chapters or spurts of writing. You rediscover friends and uncover natty bits of interesting but completely useless information. Before you know it, this technology takes over and the writer's block has become a writer's Great Wall of China. The little space of time you've claimed for your writing is taken up by Facebook updates and Google searches. When the baby wakes from her three hour nap, what have you achieved? Absolutely nothing. No sense of achievement, just a big dollop of guilt.

Procrastination is a familiar part of the writer's day to day struggle. And now the technology which can so often assist the writer (who handwrites anything these days?) has become the enemy. What to do? Has any writer out there managed to overcome the lure of Facebook? Turned their back on chat rooms? If you have, let me know. I need some help. It could be time for an intervention!